A bad day , one day before the end of world

Maybe its all about the nagative mindsets. Everything just did not go on so smoothly ytd.
Seriously.. I was suppose to meet her ytd night. Wanted to say out some of my thoughts. Meeting with client was cancelled, was grateful for that. Afterall I need a rest after camp. Proposals for the big project was a bog deal.. couldnt give up on that. So to be exact my plan was to rush home.. 1. Dinner 2. Proposal 3. Bath 4. Chiong out.

Lucky me.. 5.30pm my car broke down.

Its still in the workshop now.

Couldnt really predict is she angry or just simply nt care.
I want to tell her I like her.

But I just feel that God is planning these all out.
For once I accomodatted to the plans.

I used to think that I can change fate.
I guess its nt just about that. Its about what you do.. will not just affect you.. but simply it will also affect people around you. Think twice for not just urself. . . For others too!

2012 ending soon yo

At least I am happi to know u before this year ends.
Thank God for everything. Bertram and friends.. and..

Ok she's done.

Yup and her. :)

rabbit magic

today i woke up thinking abt her. what do i feel rite now? - - - wierd!

This is those rojak feeling that i hate to have in the middle of the night. Of missing someone and confused about my emotions.

I had a fun sat. Or maybe its just me... i am holding back now as i am typing.. worrying tt u might be reading.. but how the hell will u find ur way here !! haha..

i am thinking and assuming that u will accept me, haha ok must be dreaming.. it won't happen. Besides, i am giving up after christmas. I just assume that it won't work out.

nevertheless, i thank you as a friend for everything. I really enjoyed myself. Thats what i hate the most.. being too emotionally attached.

I have many things to say and to share with you. Thats wat i hate 2nd.. to allow anyone to know me too much.


alright.. i should know when to stop ah..

thank you girl.. dessert. for the few days of awesome memories :)

Calm desert

i know that the heading of this post is very obvious to her, so hope that she will nv find this blog lolz. i think no one even read haha.

went for workshop ytd with Alethea, Bert, William, Shingo, Leo and biibii's bf. The real problem is the bf, but end up he is very friendly.
1 year le and i am still thinking abt her, glad tt she is fine..doing balloons, together with who she love.

I m thankful that God gave me friends to cheer me up, bringing me thru all the really hard times.

for a moment, i am so glad tt i m alive. And to the girl who kept me breathing in the middle of that night when i feel so hopeless, i couldnt thank you personally. But, thank you HP. if there's a chance, i hope to just thank you face to face :)

back to the topic.. afternoon i went home, packed and went to fetch her to shop for santarina dress. initially from the past few days i thought i could not start any good topic with her.
But but but to my surprise, ytd was a lot better. I manage to be myself for almost 50% LOLz.
At least i cracked jokes, and she laugh!!! yay!

not tt i think i got hope, but i dun even dare to go closer to her anymore, i am afraid of being close to any girls anymore. I dun want to get hurt, but ya.. she might not be even interested in me for any single bit.. so ya.. AAAAA!!!
Yes i thnk i m interested in her.

hmmm

ya... ok slowly slowly see how la.

Ok time to go camp..! but ya.. i enjoyed 13th Dec 2013, no matter wad its an awesome day to rmb :)

if i am gone

the thoughts in my mind are really complicated. First of all, everything around me seems to be good but it just feels not right..

如果有一天我不存在了，那又怎麼樣。我存在，那又怎樣。。。

快樂到底是甚麼？

We are all finding the answer, but when life reaches the end, does the answer really matters?

Bringing joy to others every single day, will God sees it and give joy to us as well?
Or is it up to us who sees the joy in life?

I have been thinking of what i want in life, and what i can achieve. But so what? Does that makes me happy, or is it even meaningful?

I became very paranoid about putting effort into things i do. Afraid of disappointments and endings... afraid of even starting anything.

Giving up easily as well..

What has become of me... haiyo ah!

Alright jiayou and dun think so much and.....

Lets look forward to tml and what God had planned for me.

Me

This post is about me. About how i feel recently, about how i am doing recently.

Life is kinda fucked up and aimless. Trying all means to Be positive and strong.

Thats why i am going to set some goals right now:

I want to reach my $8k monthly income by jan 2013.

I want find back my passion in the entertainment industry.

I want to complete dreams-education and let the business run to at least $10k monthly sales.

A celebrity to wear my balloon dress for a commercial shoot by Feb 2013

To write and publish my new e-book by May 2013.

To have my own balloon motivational workshop by May 2013.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ever since the broke up, it seems that i am taking forever to find back myself.

I miss you so much, and i keep thinking of you every single day.

I have to take care of you, and we will have to be in contact because of balloons.

To you, it is nothing.

You never care how i feel. I am sorry but you are selfish.

You left me at the toughest period of my life.

You left me alone to drown when i thought i could depend on you.

You kicked me out of the "home" i thought i would stay for years.

Everything for your own convenient, nothing for us.

Fuck it.

i can only see you with another guy now.

Pls, just set me free.

Balloon Skull design

Magic show for children party?

Get a special balloon in gigantic form as well, cheers!

Mr Rabbit did this for a client at MBS:

3351 post

Da fuck.. Jerlinda say will be here soon.. Show starting 7pm.. time now 6.55pm.

Still haven see her shadow... Anyways.. it good to chill at starbucks right now.

How cool am i in my shirt, cuffs and business bag.. gonna do a birthday party balloon sculpting event.

A year passed with no mercy at all. My mind was blocked with her voice, images, everything.. Just everything.

Have been praying, working really hard. Glad to say it is so far so good..
Millions of thoughts in my mind i guess, if all are converted into dollars, i am a millionaire!

Wth am i talking.. and where is Jerlinda..

Ok got to stop blogging and find her.!

Ciao!

Scene appeared

According to my plans and the law of attractions. things are starting to surface and come to reality. Would appreciate if time would go much more ahead that i will meet u soon.

^U^ and bii . I am pretty sure right now non of them are going to be placed into my life for long. It is part and parcel of this journey i have been working so far.

Amazingly, the first hardship, the guy is still alive. And the second one, i am still alive. It is effortless to just stay here and watch. It takes courage to stay here and even care further for her.

To be honest, both are equally awesome. Being able to commit right away is impossible, but you made be able to do so very soon we got attached. This might just be the reason to give me faith.

Bloggy, with facebook, i seldom post here anymore. Missing out so much opportunities, makes me look back at all whom might have been potential as well. Nevertheless... ...

I pray, i seek and i knock the door for the next route to be open for me.

I would very much want to stay, or i can leave for shanghai. Suddenly, the old me who plans limitlessness, became rather aimless. Jocelyn Ng, you took a part of me when you left. In exchange i took a part of you as well.

Yes, talk about the "scene"... I saw the scene ytd. Even before analyzing.. let me think what's next.

You come back? nonono change the ending.. A new one will come. And ... ah fish... i need visions..

yes i need visions..

Anyways all the best for tommy's balloon garden, its gonna be awesome.

Jazz Ang changed.. to Jazz Robert Ang. The word Robert implify fame. and i will surpass my anger with fame.. eh how awesome is that sio.. LOL

NV STOP FIGHTING.
Darren, Jannson, Broderick. You guys give me the reason to fight!

Balloon days.. lonely days without jocelyn ng

 just when will the new fate arrive? and God pls guide me accordingly!

 Lonely Rose

 b for balloon . . and this is Vivian Tan

 hugging my red dress and wearing my awesome hairband.. LOL

so tired.. bought new dove..from markson. $70 for cage and food somemore..

Good night and where r u?? :(

All personal

It used to be all personal... with blogs and some other forums etc.

Now with facebook, all emotions became kinda transparent.

People no longer keep their emotions but vent it all out on facebook. What a scary social media. Its not just a website, but an online media webpage full of human's soul.

... ...

 WEnt to Dad's office YTD to do this balloon dress... ... with Huijuan.

She is a really nice girl :)

Too bad got BF liao.

Photoshoot for William:

 Our Magician Tommy:

The emotions in my heart stirs and pounds, each day i walk into much more possibilities to see you attached to another man.

If i still love you, i might be still running towards your house each day with opportunities.

Or do i not.. or i have grown wise in my thoughts?

I learnt to be strong, thanks to you. But i will rather not go through if  i have a choice.

Nevertheless, it can't be undo. Let the comfort stays in my heart, not the grudge and sadness.

I could say, i think i love you. And you are the only girl whom i have spoke my heart to.

May God bless us, for a better now and future.
Bii Bii, i know i am sorry. And i am sorry.

Bloggy i challenge you. Make her change her mind by 10/06/12 . 2359HRS.
Make her my girlfriend and change her heart back.

May this be the last hope. Or else i got to go as well.

I am sorry bloggy, may i use your power for the final time :'( Thank you!

my wish

dear bloggy, i have now realize whatever i write here, i will seldom come back to read.. memories and memories.. i found what i found in life, what i want in life..

Thats Jocelyn Ng Lizhen..

Please i beg you bloggy. Help me k :)

I need her! after army i will do my best. help me pull though~~

I LOVE HER :(

have i not tried everything i could.
have she forgetten all the promises, the house, the career.. waiting for my NS to end.

AAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

is she really so heartless!!!!

i am tired... i am tired again

你知道我的心吗？

不管发生什么事， 在哪里， 我满脑子都是你。
你说那是依赖，倒不如想想那是关心。。。

你知道我会发脾气，但不如想想那是担心。。。

你听了我的气话，请相信我并不是有心。。。

我给你的承诺，我发誓都是真心。

我的用心，其实很简单。。。

只想让你开心

mei mei is home!!!

she smells like her mei mei and bii bii.. got bii bii perfume smell..

Bii, a lot pple ask me to give up.. maybe you know who they are... ... viv, nor nor, david ah.. erm some aunties.. ...

trust me? i told them its not abt giving up a few month's boy girl relationship. It is abt giving up the one i took 20 years to find, and decided to live me whatever number of years with her!
its abt giving up a commitment, a promise to the one i love.

i want to be with her, take care of her...
its nothing people around will know, you are too special~~

they told me normally a girl like that means they want the guy to give up le..

they told me they told me..

but what i hear in my heart is to take care of you for as long as i can...
maybe one day its time for me to give up when u are married to another guy and live happily happily. but for as long as i can, i will always be here for you.

when you are happy, i am happy
when you are stress, so m i,
i see you tired, i wanna hug u til you sleep.
i see you hungry, i will feed you delicious food.


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

mei mei is home le.. she says she miss you now.

just hope one day, mei mei can see us everyday.
yes ... us... everyday.

i never give up, even til the very end..

jocelyn ng lizhen, gd nite... ... ramen dreams

pretend i never knew you

pretend i never knew you
and i knwo you will not even care

my tears just kept on rolling, with sorrow in my heart.

i keep on thinking of the moments, when we are so happy together,

you chose to leave me, so ruthless and heartlessly.

i can do nothing, because i tried everything.

i cried, i beg, i prayed, i work hard.. end up i got nothing.

nothing... ...

for all i love you.. yes i love you.

but for all happiness, i did not get, i got myself countless pains...

i know you want to get rid of me, its ok.. i will walk away quietly... ...

and i still love you. Jocelyn Ng Lizhen

i dunno what to do

i am lost right now.

all i want is to hold her hands again, i never gave up.

to me, she is the sweetest girl i ever seen... i love her so much.

bii bii huh~~~ i will never forget you no matter what.
have a good night. will be here always... i am available for you always~~